I’ll be teaching at a Wireless Workshop in South Africa next month, and am just getting my travel arrangements in order. I was e-mailing with the person in charge of booking my ticket, and one of the questions she asked (along with my passport number and full name) was whether I had any special dietary needs.
My obvious answer was that I was a Bacontarian, and would only eat meals that include Bacon, or in very rare circumstances pancetta or other forms of Pork. We quickly agreed that most airlines probably don’t recognize Bacontarianism as a proper special meal category, which of course can only be construed as a challenge.
After all, there are an almost ludicrous amount of special diet categories on most international flights, just get an idea, AirlineMeals.net lists the following: muslim, kosher, hindu, gluten free, lactose free, Low-cholesterol, vegan, seafood, diabetes, fruit meal, low-calorie, low-fat, oriental vegetarian, asian vegetarian, indian vegetarian and vegetarian…
and it has the pictures to prove it.
This is my challenge: For the Bacontarian community to unite, and set forth to spread the good bacontarian diet to airlines around the world. I hereby pledge 500g of prime, organic, danish bacon to whoever is first to get a Bacontarian special meal delivered by an airline.
Let’s do this.
Comments on strategies for achieving this noble and necessary goal are welcome in the comments section.
Again, I believe this is a situation where we can learn from our brother Pastafarians. It’s all about the lawsuits. After requesting and being denied a bacontarian meal the next time you fly, send a letter of protest about the airline’s failure to recognize and honor your faith. Carbon copy it to whatever government department deals with religious affairs. If the Australian authorities can be persuaded to recognize census-respondants as Jedi, we should surely be able to be recognized as bacontarians.
Our chief roadblock involves the acceptance of Bacontarianism as an actual religion. Many call it “silly” or a “joke religion,” and as long as this continues, we will continued to be viewed as silly. For instance, Great Britian’s Jedi thing. (I think it was Britain who refused to accept Jediism, while Austrailia allowed it).
I think our first task will need to eb establishing ourselves as a religion with serious viewpoints. I recommend a march on several popular fake-Bacon producers, claiming something about false idols. For instance, Baco’s is made without any Bacon, and some companies (e.g., Morning Star Farms) formally attempts to make Bacon without use of pork. It is fake Bacon, and it is a blasphemy. If we can stop ourselves from laughing when the press shows up, the world might start to pay attention…
Also, I’m glad this blog exists…I tried to create a similar blog, but the time and motivation failed me.
I believe that our best chance is to unite with another much maligned group, the pirates. “Bacon Pirates” would be our best chance, I’m sure that you might agree.
I’ve drafted an image of what I’m talking about: http://www.secretcreatures.com/archives/secret-creatures-news/pirate-captain-bacon-shirt/
Nice blog.I like this. Nick http://www.yahoo.com
I don’t think there will be airlines serving only bacon food. If you’re a vegetarian, then it’s fairly easy to ask them to prepare for such a dietary arrangement.
But bacon only? It’s very hard if not impossible in my opinion.
-Ryan
It’s not necessary for them to serve only bacon, just to have a meal option that always includes bacon as a side dish or ingredient.
you could always do what i do: many places simply dont have bacon on their menu… when im forced into such a dining experience (such as on an airplane) i bring my own bacon. hormel makes microwavable bacon pouches, which, of course, lack the tasty crispocity of homecooked bacon, but are sufficient in emergency situations. microwavable pouches have gotten me out of many a sticky situation. why should i have to choose between a meal without bacon or starvation? when businesses are not accomodating to my bacontarian needs, i reach into my coat pocket and pull out my bacon supplement pack, hand it to my waiter (or flight attendant in this case) and tell him to microwave me up some bacony goodness.
sadly, this is only a quick fix. when will people understand our plight?